How (Not) to Sell!

I have dabbled in marketing and advertising for a while now -- quite a few years ago with Allstate, then on my own as an independent contractor for smaller businesses. I have worked on pieces that eventually became advertisements, internal communications, media kits, websites, and other odd communications. I have also written some articles as of late as well. Throughout all of this work, my highest priority has always been language. To select the right word, the perfect word, le bon mot, is essential to the overall product. In my writing classes, the one aspect of writing I emphasize most is that of language -- finding that one perfect word.

So it surprises me considerably to see commercials on the air, commercials for which companies have paid MILLIONS, use atrocious or awkward language, especially when one small change could have made all the difference.

Take for example the recent Dos Equis beer commercial. Here they present the quintessential distinguished gentleman, surrounded by his harem of attractive women, and how do they advocate their product? "I don't always drink beer; but when I do, I drink Dos Equis." I don't always drink beer? If you are a beer company, that is the ONLY thing you want your audience drinking! To promote an alternative, even as a means to set a certain tone within the commercial, fails entirely. In advertising, you want the core of your commercial promoting your product, and if that product is beer, then that better be the only thing your hottie older man is drinking! Imagine this one small change: "When I drink beer, I drink Dos Equis." The same message is conveyed, and the option of NOT drinking beer (God forbid) is implied, but not overt. To the casual watcher, the only beer is Dos Equis. There is no option for any other drink of choice.

Ford Motor Company did something similar, but instead of just dropping the ball on endorsing their own product, they tarnished it to millions by admitting the LIED to the general public. In their most recent commercial, they promote their vehicles via a "swap" -- a driver swapping his or her current vehicle for a Ford vehicle. Then, in an almost comical undertone, the announcer admits, "We didn't tell them we were from Ford. We said it was market research." I'm sorry, but instead of coming clean with these people and saying, "Hey, we're from Ford and want to get your opinion on our vehicles. Drive one and tell us what you think," they admit to MILLIONS OF VIEWERS that they were willing to CONNED the people whose opinion they solicited! And admit it on public television! In a commercial THEY paid for! Talk about irony! Paying to admit that you defrauded others?

The problem here is that no one CARED if Ford admitted who they were or not. Had Ford contact me, a non-Ford driver, and said they wanted me to drive their car and see what I thought, I would have said, "Sure!" Whether or not they were from Ford or from some market research firm would make little difference. However, to baldly LIE to others in order to garner information, and then use that as a selling point in their commercial, really defeats the overall purpose of the commercial - you lied to me about your company, why should I trust you when you say you make good cars? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Again, the irony here is all they had to do is change the language a bit and they would have been fine - We at Ford are conducting market research. It is essentially the same thing - market research - only Ford would not have been LYING when they said it.

Of course, my son thinks that car commercials are boring and all the same, and the only ones worth watching are the funny ones. Given the high viewership of those comical Superbowl commercials, I think he is right - and he's only ten! I know that the only car commercials I care to watch are the funny ones, and there are pathetically few of those as it is.

Maybe if advertisers focused more on their audience, those of us who have to WATCH those stinking commercials, we wouldn't have these language issues. But who am I? Oh, right. I'm a consumer. They need to market to me.