Watching them turn into adults

My son turned 14 this weekend, and since he is my oldest, he is my reference for watching the kids grow up. While there will be many differences when my daughters kick 'growing up into high gear, for right now, he is my responsible grown up in training.

And it wasn't his birthday or the small trip to Disneyland with us and his best friend that really called by attention to it all, but the fact that Christmas is just around the corner.

Here he is, ready for presents galore with both his birthday and Christmas in the same month. No child is richer than my son in December; however, we do have to focus on holiday gifts for everyone. Typically, Craig and I help the kids buy gifts for the siblings and mom and dad. They pay for part of it and we pick up the rest. It has become a fun tradition for us to all go shopping the weekend before Christmas, and the kids love selecting gifts for everyone.

This year, about 2 weeks ago, as we finished up lunch, my son asked if there was anything, "like a game or anything," (his words) that Craig and I wanted for Christmas. At first I though he meant a video game, but then he clarified, "no, a family game, like Catan or something, that you and dad want." And it hit me; this year we will not be helping our son pay for the gifts he buys. He has worked hard, saved babysitting money and allowance, and has his budget and idea list in hand. He hasn't been this excited since he bought me a ring when he was five (his little song then? "I bought a present for someone I love . . . " I will NEVER forget the song or the ring), but this is significantly different.

I joke with the kids that if they could drive, they could probably live on their own since they are so self sufficient. But there is more to living on one's own that makes one an adult. A responsible grown up saves for a rainy day or upcoming expenses, anticipates future needs, plans accordingly, and considers the needs and desires of others.

My son is well on his way to becoming a wonderfully responsible "grown up." And while it hurts my heart to see my sing-song little boy now as a young man, I love the young man he is becoming, and in a way, I can't wait to see my girls do the same. Moments like these are the true gifts in life. Of all the gifts I receive, the blessing of my children and family is the absolute greatest.

Merry Christmas, and may you find your greatest gifts as well.

Oh lost knowledge . . .

Today in class my college students were to watch Sling Blade and begin work on an essay comparing elements of that film to the book Of Mice and Men. Singularly, this is one of my favorite assignments to work on in the class -- very literary, interesting topics -- overall a strong unit. Quid pro quo: Sling Blade can be a rough film at times, so when I have students 16 or under, I tell them don't show up and instead watch Simon Birch, still a strong film that contains similar elements, only in a prettier package. I understand that though Sling Blade is the stronger film, for younger students, it may not be appropriate.

Half way through the movie, two students got up and walked out, and asked me if they could watch a different film. Evidently, the harsh language (in one scene only , for the most part) and the R rating when against their religion. I referred them to Simon Birch and they left.

Here is my rhetoric about it, and please don't throw eggs! I understand religious conviction, but at the same time, I am saddened about the knowledge they will lose in the name of religion. Don't try to call me out to the carpet on the "religion" aspect - I am a homeschooling Catholic Christian for goodness sake! But hiding knowledge is not part of my agenda, and I don't think it is part of God's as well. We've seen what happens when a religion hides from knowledge, or tries to hide it from others; the Catholic Church made that attempt in the Middle Ages and "hello" Protestant Reformation!

God does not want us to hide from knowledge - He tried that once in the Garden of Eden and saw how that worked. Of all people, God's people should not be an ignorant populous. God wants educated people, people who read the Bible AND more. The more knowledge one has, the better one can study his/her religion, teach it to others, and defend against it. While the language in the film was bad, the themes of the film bespoke such greater purpose, and for these students, that knowledge is forever lost. They now cannot evaluate, assimilate, analyze, or discern any of that information - they purposely elected ignorance over learning, and that is a choice I just cannot understand.

Socially, it is bad as well. I give them credit for standing up for their beliefs, but to what end? In America, we cry and cry over the loss of academics on our youth - who then grow into ignorant adults. If they are unknowledgeable about some of the more gruesome horrors of the world, how can they then stand up against those when it matters? Evil does not always present loudly; it creeps in on quiet footsteps until we are intimate with it and no longer cringe from its presence. In American, our Evil is a willingly uneducated population, but the uneducated masses don't know. We have seen this before too, in Nazi Germany - first a cleansing of the music, then the books, then the Jews. And their excuse? "We didn't know." In America, we wonder how they could look evil in the face and not see it, but if it creeps and becomes your friend, you DON'T know.

That is the point - film and literature deal with elements, characters, and themes that directly reflect on social mores, life, and the human condition. The ability to identify those elements, learn from them, analyze and evaluate them, is a indisputable part of knowledge and rhetorical ability. While the content may have been less than pleasing at times, as adults, they should use that opportunity to wrestle with those elements and themes, and apply their Biblical rhetoric to show the human failing or the lack or moral rectitude. They could have elected to become more knowledgeable, to see how their religious standpoint would concern itself with such behaviors.

Instead, in their ignorance, they will let the Evil in, and allow it to creep a little closer.

Newest writing book!

A great resource (I think) for teaching poetry to elementary students!

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/poetry-writing-for-grades-3-6/11712879

Zoe update

Good news is the dog is like Lazarus - pretty much rose from the dead and has come back to us.

Bad news is this WHOLE event could have been avoided if the vet had told us, just ONCE, to give her some honey after she has a seizure.

Karo syrup would work, too.

Evidently the brain has a sugar level (those who are hypoglycemic understand how this works) and when dogs have seizures, the sugar level in the brain decreases a bit, and it can take time to rise.

The problem occurs in that if the sugar levels don't get back up, that can trigger ANOTHER seizure, which AGAIN lowers the brain sugar levels, which can cause ANOTHER seizure . . . see where I am going with this? Our poor doggy was in an endless loop, and I guess my continually asking the vet "What can I do for her?" wasn't enough.

The vet told Craig the dog would make a full recovery (and he said this in front of my 13 yr old son - really does the man have even half a brain?) and that we should give her some karo syrup to help maintain her sugar levels. Really - file this under "things you could have told me YESTERDAY."

That is was really ticks me off the most - that my dog suffered and has some minor brain issues (she is now a "special" dog) because my vet could not be bothered to tell me, anytime in the 8 months she's had this problem, to give her sugar. My dog suffered for two days and almost died in a diabetic coma in the backyard because my vet couldn't be bothered to tell us three words: give her sugar.

So we are now looking for a new vet, one who maybe has more than half a brain and cares about the animals, not the payment he will receive when we bring a half dead dog into his office.

But, Zoe is doing well and did make a fine recovery, though she is "rediscovering" her world. Good news is she remembers some of her basic commands and that she adores balls and frisbees. And if she forgot who we are, at least she seems to have fallen back in love with us.

Going into that long goodnight

Zoe is our bright and adorable collie/Australian shepherd mix dog. We took her off the hands of our next-door neighbor in Michigan when they lacked the requisite brain cells to have their dog fixed - thus resulting in 8 (yes - 8!) puppies! Of course they tried to pawn those puppies off on everyone, and my kids (aged 2, 6, and 9) went ballistic. Of COURSE they wanted a puppy - who doesn't puppies are cute; that is God's way of insuring you continue to care for them until they are grown.

I told the children, if there one of the chocolate brown girl puppies still available, we will get her. Otherwise it was no deal. So OF COURSE the lady had a chocolate brown girl (little did I know she would grow into a beautiful blonde!) so we got her. When Zoe came into the house, she was the tiniest little thing - Kaya would put her in her stroller and wheel the puppy around the kitchen.

We cage trained her and behaviorally trained her, since I don't have much patience at all. And what a reward she was - she caught on and was so obedient! One morning, when she was now all grown up) she was in her cage and could see out the back window at the deer in our back yard. She knew she wasn't allowed to bark in the house, so she kept making this low "wuuf" sound instead of a bark. It cracked me up that she was trying to "whisper bark."

Her favorite thing in all the world, outside of my son that is, would have to be the frisbee. She could actually catch them in mid-air! Just like the trained dogs at the fair or at Sea World! The kids thought it was the best trick ever. And if she got off her leash and didn't want to come back, all we had to do was show her the frisbee and she would come a runnin'!

When we had to move to California, she was the pet that was still young enough to go. She was only three at the time, and we got her a dog seatbelt for the car. She sat in the back with Aden, on her pillow on the seat, and was the most well behaved dog of all time. She didn't climb around; she didn't bark (naturally); she just sat patiently next to her Boy, as though she knew this was an important moment and she was taking it all in.

She became much more spoiled when we moved to CA, as we lived in a little apartment with no real patio, so she became much more of an indoor dog. While she did miss the snow (she loved catching snowballs in her mouth!), she enjoyed the life of leisure inside the apartment even more! We put her dogbed in Aden's room, and she was in Heaven, sleeping under his loft bed every night. We did not live the best life in this apartment, and for a year and a half, Zoe was Aden's only real friend.

After we almost killed her with some bad flea treatment, and got her funny hives under control, we moved to our current house, where, for the first time ever, Zoe had a back yard with a fence. This meant no more leashes; she could run free to her heart's content in that back yard, and there was not one place she left untouched. Even though it was mostly dirt, she loved her freedom. The kids would spend lots of time with her in the back, throwing balls and frisbees, and she was happy.

Then we got the pools, and if it is possible for a dog to be ecstatic, it was she.

Much like the snowballs of Michigan, Zoe loved having WATER thrown at her - again she would try to catch it in her mouth! So when we got the pool and would splash around, she would run around the pool, jumping and barking, playing with the splashing kids and catch as much water as she could until she gave out and crashed in the shade.

Then that same summer, she started having seizures. Not little ones, big ones. Ones that left a bloody, urine and vomit mess in the bathroom. We got her some meds, started keeping her more outside and in the garage and the meds managed her seizures a bit. When they came back, we got her more meds, but they slowed her down. When we forgot to refill the script for 2 weeks, and realized she didn't have a seizure that whole time, we took her off them for a bit, and our energetic Zoe was back. She was chasing balls and frisbees again, playing with the kids, and Aden started taking her for walks in around the neighborhood.

Then this week she had about three seizures in two days, so we knew it would be another trip to the vet and more meds. Then on Thursday morning, she had such a large one, or enough of them, that her brain started breaking down. She didn't recognize us (still so friendly and docile and loving though - the brain damage didn't change the core personality, her soul possibly?) and Craig put her in the back yard. She wasn't walking well, and she couldn't seem to see well either. It was funny to watch her walk around and try to climb on things, but in such a sad way.

Over the course of Thursday, she had at least one more seizure, and now the Zoe's knowledge of us was gone; we were just some nice people in the house who fed her, when she could find the food bowl. We tried to get her into the garage last night, but she wouldn't come in the house and I wasn't about to force her. Plus, though it would be cold at night, she was probably safer in the backyard than the garage with all the bikes and tools and such. Aden and I got her a warm blanket and showed her where is was a few times, and spent some time trying to play with her a bit, and pet her. She was stumbling around badly at this point, and Aden knew; he knew that this was the end and cried and cried and I cried with him.

Today we woke up and she is pretty much gone - I was surprised she made it through the night. We have an appt. with the vet this afternoon, but I don't think she will make it. We will have to call him this morning and set up a different type of visit. Zoe's seizures are almost constant; she can't walk much at all, and I'm so glad Craig is staying home - I wasn't sure how I was going to get the dog into the van to even get her to the vet. She is laying down a lot, is a daze, with drool from her most recent seizure hanging from her mouth, and she is not there. Our dog is gone; her body has just not caught up with her yet.

So today Craig and Aden (if he wants to go) will take her to the vet for her last visit. They may have to carry her, and I have a blanket ready to go. It's one that a friend, who has a special fondness for dogs, gave us years ago. I thought it fitting to give it to Zoe as we say our final goodbyes to a dog I didn't really want, but ended up nuzzling her way into all our hearts. I pray for strength for both myself, but more for my son, who is losing one of his closes friends.

I believe there is a special Heaven for dogs, where there will be plenty of meat scraps from the table, lots of balls and frisbees, and God's loving hands rubbing her belly whenever she wants.