Thursday, December 20, 2007

Gaming with the Stars!

So, Grimwell attends that Mecca of all gamers in America: E3. That paragon of game technology beckons thousands from all over the world and flaunts its multichromatic vice to all. Surprisingly, that “all” includes famous celebrities who made the short trek from Hollywood to LA to also peruse what’s new in gaming.

I must admit, the idea of Hollywood’s greatest playing online games fascinates me – it’s like finding out that Superman and Wonder Woman are regulars at your favorite restaurant, only with an added bonus. There is an excellent chance that you may be better at the game than they are. They may have to ask you —little, peon, nobody you – for help to get to the next level.

I say this not as an insult but as a realization. For example, my 10 year old plays GuildWars and is fairly adept at it (of course he is – he’s ten! Anyone younger than 12 is a pro at any piece of technology no matter how new advanced it is. We should have 10 year olds working with technology for the Defense Department!) As a result, newer players regularly offer my son in game money in return for a tour of a place or to help them get to a really great place for gold and action. My son finds this hilarious – that a 10 year old could do it on his own but the other guys can’t. But he’s no fool; he takes their money and leads the way.

I think these people would freak if they knew a prepubescent was their tour leader. I feel the same way about gaming with celebrities. As it turns out, Robin Williams is a game freak and had a blast at E3 himself. Could you imagine learning that a guild mate of yours was none other than Robin Williams?! That is an interesting element of the internet – absolute anonymity. And even if he did try to say he was THE Robin Williams, no one would believe him – look what happened in the 90’s when David Duchnovy tried to enter a chat room about himself. “Yeah, right. And I’m Gillian Anderson!” No one believed him.

Maybe if Robin William told some good jokes; but even then, believing that the really good joke teller in your guild is the REAL Robin Williams is a stretch. It would be great fun to try to screw with him though (“Yeah, you need to kill every rabbit in the game before you can advance to the next level”). Mr. Williams seems to be a great sport about things, and that could easily translate into being a great gamer. Plus, the idea of having power over the powerful can make one giddy with the possibilities!
However, not all celebrity gaming is a good thing. Look at what happens when you let Paris Hilton take the controller. She may look pretty, but could you imagine if she were in your guild? Ugh! It would be the “losers” guild with nothing more than clipped language (“Do you want to go to the next town?” “That’s hot!”). She would be more worried about her shoes than whether her friends were getting whacked by some egregious creature in the game!

And don’t get me started on her lovely sense of recall. While she may make a pretty model, a spokesperson she is not! Her game “Paris Hilton’s Jewel Jam” will not only be in the $1 bin within a week of release, she cannot even correctly name her own game! Instead, she called it “DiamondQuest” and left the building. Could you imagine the horror that would ensue if she played an online game? “Ohh, let’s play ‘Land of Fighting!’” “No, I don’t want to level. I just like picking out clothes for my character. That’s hot!”

Don’t even get me started on Tom Cruise (“We must have absolute silence while gaming!”).

All in all, while some celebrities would be a blast to game with – Robin Williams is one, and I think Samuel L. Jackson would be fun to encounter in game – too many Paris Hiltons and Tom Cruises could really spoil the fun. That’s what makes online gaming so fun; I don’t have to know who I’m really playing with. And if I don’t like them, I can take my cloak of magic and go play somewhere else.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

On Getting Busy

It’s 11:00 pm. The kids were put to bed long ago. I’ve finished doing my nightly routine of picking up the house, putting stuff away, and checking on the dog. Most of the lights are off; the doors are locked. It’s time.

I light some candles in the bedroom to set the mood. I bought a little black and red swatch of material from Victoria’s and it fits great. I put my hair up, check to see the make-up looks good, then I drape myself in the door way of the office and ask my husband, the gamer, in a husky voice, “Wanna get busy?”

His eyes don’t even twitch from the computer screen. The lights in here are brighter than the sun and he is glued to this game that he has already been playing for 2 ½ hours. You’d think he’d need some sort of break, right? And my idea is usually a top one for men, right?

I might as well have asked him what they are serving for dinner on the moon for all the attention he paid me. I mean, come on! The lights are low; the bed is turned down, and I am wearing next to nothing! Does he even give me a glimpse? No – I get this response (come on gamer-spouses, recite it with me), “Can you just give me a few minutes, hon? I’m almost done with this level.”

Ok – the mood is shot and for men who complain that they don’t get enough – this picture here is exactly why. Women are very fickle creatures, and if you don’t grab us while we are hot, you will end up with NO ACTION in return. Don’t come crying to us that you don’t get enough; when we throw ourselves at you, your eyes are glued to a fictional character in a fictional place doing fictional things.

Thus, I thought is was hilarious when my husband then showed me a video of the three Australian comedians singing about making the woman wait while they completed another level or finished gaming with their group. Their jokes about finding something to do as it may take a while are right on! Evidently, I’m not the only one who thinks this “gaming is better than sex” issue is a fairly significant one!

As all gaming spouses know, the “Just give me a minute” comment is equivalent to telling the spouse to grab a book – it’s going to be a while. War and Peace is a good choice at this juncture; so is Les Miserables. The Stand by Stephen King would also be excellent fodder for this downtime. Anything in excess of 1000 pages will be required reading if you anticipate seeing that gaming spouse anytime that evening.

If you don’t fall asleep reading (and waiting for your spouse to hit that next level), you just may get your wish and a little action. However, if you are like most gaming spouses, me in particular, you will fall asleep with that book on your face. Then, if you are really lucky, you get to try again the next night, and the next, and the next.

What a waste of makeup. I didn’t do my hair just to sleep with a nice style. I’d rather fall asleep in my flannel jammies than a skimpy, uncomfortable swatch of satin. As for me, I’ll be reading Anna Karenina. He can wake me when he’s done with this level.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Putting Up With Gaming

As a gamer's wife, I have to put up with a lot. I have to put up with dinner being late because we have to wait for Grim to finish his level/game, or I lose out on the romantic night because he has to game with the guys online. I have to put up with “Just another second, hon. I've almost destroyed this rabbit! Then I will have access to the magical watermelon rind!” Plus, I have to listen to him and all his friends talk about gaming ALL THE TIME. Honestly, that is probably the worst.

Since we work in the gaming industry, we have to discuss gaming quite a bit, which is OK with me – I mean it is work after all. However, one would think that we live, eat, sleep, and breathe nothing but games, given how others react when they learn what we do. Especially for me, since I also teach at a technical school, whose fight song could be entitled “Game on, Game on, for Freeport . . .” This is the type of school where, if MMOG was offered as a major, that would be the only major. No one would attend the school for any other subject. This is a school where, when you walk down the halls, no only do a slew of students duke it out in a game of Magic, but wireless laptops are open and it looks like the owners have a terrible habit of talking loudly to themselves (“To the left! To the left! Behind you! AHHH!!”).

Needless to say, I don't broadcast that I work with or write about games for a living, and I sure as heck have learned not to mention that Grimwell is my husband. I've had students actually recognize the name and then want to do nothing more than talk about him all night long! I have to live and work with the guy, and the last thing I want to do is talk about his gaming habits with a bunch of MY students all night long! If I should let it slip that I edit his website, all I hear for the next hour is, “Does he play this? What does he think of that? What server is he on?” Or, God save me, even worse: “Do your play EQ2?” What server are you on?”

To tell the truth – I have no idea. When anyone starts talking about mmorpgs or PS3, it's like someone flipped a switch and now everyone is speaking in tongues. I, on the other hand, then have the ungrateful task of trying to bring attention back around to whatever it is the students are supposed to learning.

And it's not just students – our personal friends also fall under this banner. Take our friend Jay. When we are together with Jay and his wife, Jay is a normal person. However, get him alone with Grim (or, God help me, Grim and myself) and it is non-stop game talk. My eyes start to glaze over and I begin to mentally rearrange my shoe closet. Even worse, sometimes Grim is not even there, but since I am, I become the gaming conversationalist by default. As an example, last week I was at a girl-gathering with Jay's wife at Jay's house. In the midst of our superficial talk, Jay came home and asked his wife if he had time to play his new game downstairs. Then he proceeded to share all the info of his new game with me – how he got it for free with trade-ins, how he can't wait to play it, how he talked to Grim about it for some reason, yadda yadda yadda . . . and my eyes begin to lose focus.

It's not that I am against gaming or anything; quite the reverse. There are many games, online and PC games, which I play. My kids play a variety of PC, online, and console games as well. We are a gaming family, and I have learned to accept that. It is just so difficult to talk about gaming ALL THE TIME –especially when I am seen as little more than Grim's proxy game conversationalist. I am not a gamer – not in the way Grim and his associates are, so the only thing I ask is that, sometimes, can we talk about something else? How about those Lakers? I hear the weather can be nice to talk about. Do you have any boring tales about your family? Because I would LOVE to talk about all that.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

How (Not) to Sell!

I have dabbled in marketing and advertising for a while now -- quite a few years ago with Allstate, then on my own as an independent contractor for smaller businesses. I have worked on pieces that eventually became advertisements, internal communications, media kits, websites, and other odd communications. I have also written some articles as of late as well. Throughout all of this work, my highest priority has always been language. To select the right word, the perfect word, le bon mot, is essential to the overall product. In my writing classes, the one aspect of writing I emphasize most is that of language -- finding that one perfect word.

So it surprises me considerably to see commercials on the air, commercials for which companies have paid MILLIONS, use atrocious or awkward language, especially when one small change could have made all the difference.

Take for example the recent Dos Equis beer commercial. Here they present the quintessential distinguished gentleman, surrounded by his harem of attractive women, and how do they advocate their product? "I don't always drink beer; but when I do, I drink Dos Equis." I don't always drink beer? If you are a beer company, that is the ONLY thing you want your audience drinking! To promote an alternative, even as a means to set a certain tone within the commercial, fails entirely. In advertising, you want the core of your commercial promoting your product, and if that product is beer, then that better be the only thing your hottie older man is drinking! Imagine this one small change: "When I drink beer, I drink Dos Equis." The same message is conveyed, and the option of NOT drinking beer (God forbid) is implied, but not overt. To the casual watcher, the only beer is Dos Equis. There is no option for any other drink of choice.

Ford Motor Company did something similar, but instead of just dropping the ball on endorsing their own product, they tarnished it to millions by admitting the LIED to the general public. In their most recent commercial, they promote their vehicles via a "swap" -- a driver swapping his or her current vehicle for a Ford vehicle. Then, in an almost comical undertone, the announcer admits, "We didn't tell them we were from Ford. We said it was market research." I'm sorry, but instead of coming clean with these people and saying, "Hey, we're from Ford and want to get your opinion on our vehicles. Drive one and tell us what you think," they admit to MILLIONS OF VIEWERS that they were willing to CONNED the people whose opinion they solicited! And admit it on public television! In a commercial THEY paid for! Talk about irony! Paying to admit that you defrauded others?

The problem here is that no one CARED if Ford admitted who they were or not. Had Ford contact me, a non-Ford driver, and said they wanted me to drive their car and see what I thought, I would have said, "Sure!" Whether or not they were from Ford or from some market research firm would make little difference. However, to baldly LIE to others in order to garner information, and then use that as a selling point in their commercial, really defeats the overall purpose of the commercial - you lied to me about your company, why should I trust you when you say you make good cars? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Again, the irony here is all they had to do is change the language a bit and they would have been fine - We at Ford are conducting market research. It is essentially the same thing - market research - only Ford would not have been LYING when they said it.

Of course, my son thinks that car commercials are boring and all the same, and the only ones worth watching are the funny ones. Given the high viewership of those comical Superbowl commercials, I think he is right - and he's only ten! I know that the only car commercials I care to watch are the funny ones, and there are pathetically few of those as it is.

Maybe if advertisers focused more on their audience, those of us who have to WATCH those stinking commercials, we wouldn't have these language issues. But who am I? Oh, right. I'm a consumer. They need to market to me.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Highlight

The backdrop:
We have homeschooled since my oldest was born. My dh is out of town for over a week, so I decide to take the kids to Boston Market for dinner (we have a coupon - yay!).

The scene:
The kids help get the trays to the table, get drinks, help each other with silverware, wait for help, say please and thank you, etc... All around good kids displaying the behavior we EXPECT when out to eat.

The interruption:
In the middle of great conversation with my 3 kids, a family with two little boys (3 and 4 or so?) and boy were they LOUD. Even my kids, who can be loud, commented on it. Plus the boys were running up and down the aisle and no listening to parent.

The foreshadow:
Also in the restaurant were an elderly lady and her mother, sitting across the center aisle from us.

What followed:
The parents of the loud kids finally got the kids under control and got dinner on the table - loud and annoying crisis averted!

The Climax:
In the middle of conversation with the kids, the elderly lady and her mother can over to me.

The Highlight of my day:
She said "I just wanted to tell you what beautiful and well-behaved children you have. You must be so proud of them."

Finally:
I thanked her profusely, and we agreed that well-behaved kids are better than the other option, and wished each other a nice day. Then mommy got all teared up that my beautiful and well-behaved kids were basically complimented by a total stranger for their mere existence. And all is right in the world, except daddy wasn't there to see it. But the kids did, and I think that was more important.

The end.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Why it is good to have friends . . .

I haven't had friends, a big circle of friends, since high school. Back then, everyone little clique found others with similar interests, and that became your group. For me, that was fifteen year ago.

Today, however, I learned that once again have more friends in my circle than I can shake a stick at. It rivals the group I had in high school! While I somehow knew I had these friends, I didn't realize how many or how truly committed they were until just this weekend. Then they came out of the woodwork in droves, and for that I am so grateful.

We are in the process of a move and my hubby is not around a lot as a result. Over the course of 2 days, every friend I have in the area, even ones I didn't realize were real friends, those ones you can count on in a pinch, called me to see how I was doing. They ALL offered to help babysit or run errands when needed, come and help pack, move boxes, or just let me unload emotionally if necessary. I have waited fifteen years to have friends like this again, and now I have to leave them. Subtle irony there, no?

But the upside is they are there - they are sticking to me even though I will be 2000 miles away in two months. With promises to call and keep in touch, we all know how easy it is to lose friends when distance and life in general get in the way. Only this time I have all their email address and phone numbers, and I will make avid use of them. Friends like these I just can't move away from; part of them will move with me when I go.

And hopefully, a small part of me will stay with them as well.

Thanks, friends.